Hypnosis and the AFSP Challenge

Every day Orne and I have what I have mentally nicknamed "podering sessions." These usually begin with a simple question, sometimes innocent in nature, and then explore every single possible conclusion from both the Straight (me) and Gay (Orne) angle. These ponderings often lead to some kind of a challenge.

Today I handed Orne the cap from my Snapple bottle; they often have clever little facts that know one would think about until they have read it after unscrewing the lid off of their Rasberry Iced Tea. This particular cap read: Fun Fact #29 - "On average, a human being will spend 2 weeks kissing in his/hers lifetime." Me being the individual who enjoys going beyond the average expectation handed the cap to Orne and mentioned that this is probably an average we have both broken.

"OMG! I know I have!" (He doesn't really speak in abbreviations, but he is very gay so when I hear him speak I imagine his words appearing that way) We discussed the possiblilty that this fact was probably researched through the hetro population and figured its unlikely that the homosexual community was considered. Then again, neither of us know where Snapple gets its conclusions, nor their stand on whether or not homosexuals merit their precious, fruity trendy research.

This prompted us to figure out how many sexual partners the average human has in their lifetime. Rather than scowering the Snapple bottles for Fun Fact #30, we decide that the ol' reliable internet was the way for us- and this is what we discovered: "The average male will have sexual intercourse with 7 women in his lifetime."

...

I'll repeat that: "The average male will have sexual intercourse with 7 women in his lifetime."

"Oh, ew! That's WAAAAAYYYY above the amount of women I ever intend to sleep with! LOL!" 

Rather than explain to him that my own numbers are more than triple that figure, I paused. Then I presented him with the challenge to break that average. "What? NW- I will never have sex with one woman, let alone seven! Gross!" God, this guy is such a 'mo.

Okay, but what if you were under hypnosis? I asked. He considered, then added, "would I remember it afterwards?" No, we'll condition your hypnosis so you will hav eno memory of the ordeal. He cinsidered this and finally said, "Alright, I'll do it- make it so I think the woman is Daniel Radcliffe! LMAO!"

So here's the deal: we need a hypnotist to put Orne under and make him a straight guy. Then he and I will up the douchiest clubs imaginable (not hard to find in L.A.) and have him take home a lady. Since he'll be under hypnosis the quality of woman won't hinder his skills as it would a shallow straight guy, plus I'm curious as to what kind of woman his subconscience is attracted to in the first place. Or we may be able to skip the whole douche club part entirely (please God, please!) and find women willing to partake in this challenge. No prostitutes, though. Orne is a classy guy and I prefer him to keep his dignity even in the state of hypnosis.

Any takers out there? Women or unemplyed hypnotists?